Before I Eat

(maybe someone can help me figure out the lyrics to this. I can’t seem to find them online ANYWHERE… Can you figure out what she’s saying? *lol*)

Before I Eat
by Anita Renfroe (to the tune of “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood)

Right now I’m thinking that I need a little late night snack, so I’m going to the fridgie
Not much, just a little treat, just some fruit or something ’cause I’m counting every calorie
Right now I’m thinking about a cracker with a carrot stick, or maybe just a sugar free jello
But here I go…

Oh…. So I dug my teeth into a side of spaghetti
and a scoop of that chocolate pie
Carved my name into some cheddar cheese
Took some biscuits and butter with both my lips
Chased away the Cheetos with nacho chips
Maybe next time I’ll think before I eat

Right now I think I’m working up some reflux version of digestive Tsunami
Right now I’m feeling deep regret ’cause I need some Pepto Bismo and I wish I had my Mommy
Right now I’m thinking it’s impossible for me to lose all of these abdominal rolos
That won’t let go

Oh… So I’ll lug my hips and my prominant thighs
To that sweaty little spin class at the Y
Parked my rear up on that rubber seat
_______________ with the coach I heart
To scrunch in until I blew out my four spare tires
Maybe next time I’ll think before I eat

You’d think I’d save some Ben and Jerry’s for the next girl
No, the next time that I eat
Oh… You know it won’t be fat free

No, not on me
Can’t you see
Can’t you see

That I want to be healthy, the Lord knows I’ve tried
_________________ for a ride
A girl just needs a couple Krispy Kremes
But my high school reunion is next July
So I’m South Beach  charged to drop a dress size
Maybe next time I’ll think before I eat
Ya, maybe next time I’ll think before I eat

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